Gift Guide · Funny Gifts
Funny Gifts Under $20 That Actually Land
The problem with funny gifts is that most of them are funny once, in the room, and then they are clutter.
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The Journal
Gift guides, written in the belief that the right present is mostly a matter of correctly identifying what someone is like and then teasing them about it expensively. Books, and a few things that are not books.
Gift Guide · Funny Gifts
The problem with funny gifts is that most of them are funny once, in the room, and then they are clutter.
Read the GuideThe Year in Occasions
Thirty-four occasions, each with its own date and its own trap. In the order the calendar inflicts them.
Gift Guide · Valentine's Day
For couples who cannot say anything heartfelt without immediately ruining it.
Read MoreGift Guide · St Patrick's Day
The one holiday where the gift and the costume are the same purchase.
Read MoreGift Guide · Easter
Chocolate is gone by Tuesday.
Read MoreGift Guide · Admin Professionals Day
For the person who actually knows how the building works.
Read MoreGift Guide · Teacher Appreciation
By Wednesday of Teacher Appreciation Week she has four apple-themed mugs and a scented candle.
Read MoreGift Guide · Mother's Day
The funny Mother's Day gift works because it tells the truth: the job is relentless and she is doing it anyway.
Read MoreGift Guide · Memorial Day
Memorial Day weekend is a barbecue with a solemn morning attached.
Read MoreGift Guide · Cancer Survivors Day
A guide written in a different register from the rest of this journal.
Read MoreGift Guide · End of School Year
The end-of-year gift has one job: acknowledge that she made it.
Read MoreGift Guide · Father's Day
He says he does not want anything, and he means it, but he will press the joke button at dinner for the rest of the year.
Read MoreGift Guide · Graduation
The graduate is about to discover laundry, rent and meetings.
Read MoreGift Guide · National Dog Day
Two audiences, one holiday.
Read MoreGift Guide · Grandparents Day
The gifts grandparents actually like are the ones that prove the grandchildren were involved.
Read MoreGift Guide · World Teachers' Day
World Teachers' Day falls in early October, when the term is new enough that she still has hope.
Read MoreGift Guide · Halloween
Halloween is the one holiday where a gag gift is the correct and expected choice.
Read MoreGift Guide · Veterans Day
Military humour is a genre with its own rules, and 'embrace the suck' is one of its best lines.
Read MoreGift Guide · Thanksgiving
Somebody is cooking for eleven people and somebody else needs to arrive holding something.
Read MoreGift Guide · Small Business Saturday
They are the accounts department, the complaints department and the person who unblocks the toilet.
Read MoreGift Guide · White Elephant
A white elephant round is a competition, and most people turn up unarmed.
Read MoreGift Guide · Christmas
A small budget, a name drawn from a mug, and no information whatsoever.
Read MoreMilestones
Birthdays, weddings, babies, jobs and the slow business of getting older. No fixed date, which is the only thing that makes them easier.
Gift Guide · 30th Birthday
Thirty is the first birthday where the joke writes itself: still young, visibly tired.
Read MoreGift Guide · Birthdays
Thoughtful, handsome, and only faintly insulting. In the best way.
Read MoreGift Guide · Engagement
They are engaged, which means the next eighteen months are about seating plans.
Read MoreGift Guide · Bachelorette
Two very different events in one weekend: a bridal shower with her aunts, and a bachelorette party without them.
Read MoreGift Guide · Bachelor Party
The groom needs to be visible and mildly humiliated; the groomsmen need something to hold.
Read MoreGift Guide · Weddings
The registry is full of towels.
Read MoreGift Guide · Anniversaries
After a few years the romantic anniversary gift starts to feel like a performance.
Read MoreGift Guide · Baby Shower
Eleven people are giving them babygrows.
Read MoreGift Guide · New Baby
The baby has received forty gifts.
Read MoreGift Guide · Housewarming
They have a new house and no idea where anything is.
Read MoreGift Guide · New Job
Two gifts in one guide: something for the desk they are arriving at, and something for the colleagues they are abandoning.
Read MoreGift Guide · Promotions
They have been promoted, which means more money and significantly more meetings.
Read MoreGift Guide · Retirement
Forty years of work, and the company is giving them a clock.
Read MoreEveryday and Difficult Cases
For when there is no occasion at all, or when the occasion is awkward and the usual advice is no help.
Gift Guide · Thank You
Somebody did something for you that they did not have to.
Read MoreGift Guide · Get Well Soon
Nobody recovering from surgery wants another bunch of flowers that they have to find a vase for.
Read MoreGift Guide · Difficult Cases
Eight gifts for the friend whose house is already finished.
Read MoreGift Guide · Mother's Day
She means it, and she does not. Six gifts that respect both positions.
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